The holidays are often portrayed as a time of joy and togetherness—but real life doesn’t always feel that way.
By: Dr. Lyndall Schumann Ph.D., C. Psych, Clinical Director of Strategy and Innovation, Ontario Structured Psychotherapy, Canadian Mental Health Association, York Region and South Simcoe
In York Region and across South Simcoe, many people find that the holiday season brings stress, pressure, loneliness, grief, or financial strain, even while everyone around them seems to be celebrating.
And that’s more common than you think.
The truth is: your mental health deserves the same attention as everything else on your holiday list. Caring for yourself during this time isn’t selfish—it’s essential. If you notice that the holidays feel harder than expected this year, local support is available right here in our community.
Belonging sits at the heart of mental well-being. It isn’t about having a big social circle—it’s about feeling valued, included, and genuinely connected to at least one person who cares. But belonging doesn’t just happen, especially during a season that often heightens expectations.
This guide offers five grounded, compassionate ways to support your mental health during the holiday season, along with local resources in York Region and South Simcoe if you need additional help.
1. Choose One Tradition to Keep—and One to Let Go
Holidays can feel like autopilot: the same routines, the same obligations, the same “shoulds.” But not every tradition serves you.
Ask yourself:
- What feels comforting?
- What feels draining?
- What am I keeping only because I feel obligated?
Honouring one tradition that genuinely brings you joy and letting go of one that drains your energy reduces emotional load and gives you back a sense of control during a busy season.
Small change, big relief: Put your needs—not expectations—at the centre of your holiday plans.
Think of it this way: your emotional energy is finite (yes, even during the holidays when everyone expects you to run on festive momentum). Research shows that decision fatigue peaks during high-pressure periods like December, when we’re navigating social obligations, gift-buying, meal planning, and family dynamics all at once. In culturally diverse areas like York Region, this pressure can multiply when you’re balancing multiple traditions or navigating expectations from different cultural backgrounds.
That’s not about being selfish. It’s about being intentional.
You don’t need to announce your decision or justify it to everyone. Sometimes the most therapeutic thing you can do is quietly release what isn’t working and redirect that energy toward what actually nourishes you.
2. Plan a Small Moment of Real Connection
Connection doesn’t require a perfect party or a full schedule. Sometimes, the most meaningful moments are simple:
- A slow phone call where you can be honest
- A short walk with a neighbour or friend
- A visit over tea where no one rushes the conversation
- Sitting beside someone in quiet comfort
Here’s what matters: quality over quantity. Genuine connection—even in short bursts—strengthens resilience and belonging.
And if you don’t have many relationships right now? That’s okay. Even one person is enough to build a sense of connection.
Social neuroscience tells us that our brains are wired for connection, but not necessarily for constant stimulation or large gatherings. In fact, meaningful one-on-one interactions trigger oxytocin release and activate the parasympathetic nervous system (your body’s “rest and digest” mode), which directly counteracts holiday stress.
What we’re talking about here isn’t networking or maintaining appearances. It’s about showing up as yourself with someone who can handle that. No performance required.
If reaching out feels hard today, CMHA York Region & South Simcoe is here to be that starting point. Sometimes the first step toward connection is talking to someone who’s trained to listen without judgment—someone who won’t expect you to be “fine” or “festive” when you’re not.
You might think: “I don’t want to burden anyone during the holidays.” But consider this—many people around you are also looking for authentic connection. When you reach out honestly, you’re often giving someone else permission to do the same. That’s how isolation breaks down: one real conversation at a time.
When Was the Last Time You Connected With Someone on Issues That Are Real and Important to You?
Not small talk. Not holiday pleasantries. Real conversation.
For many people in York Region and South Simcoe, the answer is “longer than I’d like to admit.” Life gets busy. We default to surface-level interactions. The holidays amplify this pattern—everyone’s rushing, everyone’s “good,” and genuine check-ins get postponed until January (or later).
But here’s the thing: your mental health doesn’t pause for the holidays. And waiting until you’re completely overwhelmed to reach out makes everything harder.
3. Create a “Belonging Plan” for the Hard Moments
Some holiday moments are predictable—certain days, gatherings, or memories may carry high stress, grief or anxiety. Planning ahead can make those times safer and more manageable.
A belonging plan can include:
- One person you can message or call
- One grounding activity that helps you reset (breathing, taking a walk, writing a list of what’s true and safe)
- A playlist you can put on to work through the emotions when they are surfacing
- One supportive phrase to remind yourself you’re not alone
This isn’t about avoiding emotion—it’s about preparing for it with care. You deserve to feel supported through whatever surfaces.
Think of your emotional framework like a spine—it holds everything together. When you know certain situations might test your stability, having a plan isn’t pessimistic. It’s practical. It’s therapeutic. It’s what clinically validated self-care actually looks like.
A grounding plan works because it removes decision-making from the hardest moments. When anxiety spikes or grief hits, your prefrontal cortex (the part of your brain responsible for planning and reasoning) goes offline. You’re running on your limbic system—the emotional centre that’s focused on survival, not strategy.
So decide now, while you’re calm:
- Who will you text if holiday morning feels unbearable?
- What will you do if the family gathering triggers old wounds?
- How will you excuse yourself if you need a break?
Write it down. Put it in your phone. Make it accessible.
4. Notice Someone Who Might Need a Gentle Reach-Out
The person who appears cheerful could be carrying the heaviest load. Many in our communities—caregivers, newcomers, 2SLGBTQ+ youth, people with disabilities, people living with financial pressure, and those grieving a loved one—may feel excluded or unsafe during holiday gatherings.
A small, sincere reach-out can transform someone’s day:
- “Thinking of you today.”
- Thank you for what you do
- “Do you want company for a few minutes?”
- “How are you really feeling?”
These micro-connections help both people feel valued. When we lift someone else up, we soften our own loneliness too.
Here in York Region and South Simcoe, community resources exist so no one needs to walk this season alone. But resources only work if people know they’re there—and feel safe enough to use them.
If you’re someone who generally “has it together,” your check-in might be especially meaningful. People who are struggling often assume that reaching out would burden others. When you initiate contact, you’re removing that barrier. Sometimes a very small gesture, card, or gift can be very meaningful.
And here’s something we don’t talk about enough: helping someone else can improve your own mental health. Studies on prosocial behaviour show that acts of kindness activate the brain’s reward centres and increase feelings of purpose and connection. It’s not transactional—it’s just how we’re built. We need each other.
5. Ask for Help Early—Not After You’re Overwhelmed
The holidays don’t wait until you feel ready. Stress can build slowly… until suddenly it feels like too much.
Reaching out early is a strength, not a failure. Mental health support isn’t just for crisis moments—it’s for preventing them.
If things begin to feel heavy, if you’re isolating more than usual,snapping at everyone, or if grief is stronger than expected—talking to someone can make a meaningful difference.
You deserve support before you reach a breaking point. You’re allowed to ask for help as soon as you recognize that you need it.
Evidence-based early intervention reduces symptom severity significantly. In anxiety and depression treatment, research consistently shows that people who seek support during the early stages of distress experience better outcomes and shorter recovery times than those who wait until symptoms become severe.
We’ve seen this happen too many times—treatable concerns that became crisis situations because someone thought they “should” be able to handle it alone.
Here’s the truth: needing support doesn’t mean you’re weak or broken. It means you’re paying attention to your needs. It means you’re taking yourself seriously. Those are signs of emotional intelligence, not failure.
And practically speaking, it’s easier to course-correct when you’re at a 5 out of 10 than when you’re at a 9. At a 5, you still have energy. You can think clearly. You can implement strategies. At a 9, everything feels impossible.
Don’t wait for impossible.
Why the Holidays Can Feel Harder Than Usual
Even positive change brings emotional strain. During the holidays, stressors can stack up:
- Financial pressure (gifts, travel, hosting)
- Changes in relationships (divorce, break-ups, distance)
- Grief (the first holiday without someone)
- Unrealistic expectations
- Seasonal affective challenges
- Social media comparison
- Cultural or family obligations
When everyone else looks joyful, personal struggles can feel magnified. It’s normal to need extra care right now.
In York Region’s multicultural community, holiday stress often includes navigating multiple cultural expectations, language barriers when seeking support, or feeling caught between traditions. For newcomers, this might be the first holiday season away from family and familiar customs. That displacement isn’t something you just “get over”—it’s a legitimate form of grief that deserves acknowledgment and support.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) affects about 2-3% of Canadians seriously and another 15% in milder forms. In Ontario’s winter months, reduced daylight directly impacts serotonin and melatonin production, which regulate mood and sleep. This isn’t “just feeling down”—it’s a physiological response that compounds holiday stress.
Social media can also warp our perspective on the holiday season.. When you’re scrolling through everyone’s perfect holiday photos, your brain doesn’t automatically recognize that you’re seeing curated highlights. You’re comparing your lived, authentic reality to someone else’s carefully filtered presentation. That comparison erodes belonging and amplifies the feeling that something’s wrong with you.
Nothing’s wrong with you. The holidays are just genuinely complicated for a lot of people.
Signs You May Need Additional Support This Season
Pay attention to your emotional signals. Support can help if you notice:
- Feeling disconnected from yourself or others
- Overwhelming sadness or loneliness
- Constant worry or anxiety
- Feeling numb or “checked out”
- Irritability that’s unlike you
- Thoughts of hurting yourself
- Lack of motivation or difficulty getting out of bed
- Trouble sleeping or eating
You don’t have to manage these feelings alone.
These aren’t character flaws or signs that you’re “not handling things well enough.” They’re symptoms—your mind and body signaling that something needs attention. Trauma-informed care recognizes that these responses often make perfect sense given what you’re experiencing or have experienced.
If you’re noticing several of these signs, or if any single symptom feels unmanageable, that’s your cue to reach out. Not next week. Not after the holidays. Now.
Local Help Is Here—Support in York Region & South Simcoe
Whether you’re celebrating, grieving, or somewhere in between, CMHA York Region & South Simcoe provides evidence-based mental health support close to home.
You don’t need a referral. You don’t need to be in crisis. You just need to reach out.
Call today: 1-866-345-0183 (You’ll be connected with local support options)
We offer:
- Counselling and mental health programs
- Peer support and community connection services
- Help for isolation, anxiety, and depression
- Resources for youth, seniors, caregivers, and newcomers
- Crisis-prevention supports during the holiday season
If the holidays feel different this year—that’s okay. There’s a place for you here.
Our programs are designed to meet you where you are. That might mean connecting you with a counsellor who shares your cultural background, offering flexible appointment times for people with caregiving responsibilities, or providing services in multiple languages. In diverse communities like York Region, culturally responsive therapy and mental health support significantly improves treatment outcomes and client engagement because you don’t have to translate your experience—you can just be understood.
And everything we do is grounded in evidence-based practice. That means the approaches we use have been clinically validated through research. You’re not getting someone’s best guess—you’re getting therapeutic interventions that have been proven effective.
You’re Not Alone—We’re Here With You
Holidays can bring complex emotions. If you feel stretched thin, overwhelmed, or disconnected, that doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.
Give yourself permission to show up exactly as you are. To rest. To release expectations. To connect in ways that feel real. To ask for support whenever you need it.
Your mental health belongs on your list this season—and every season. And we’re right here beside you in York Region and South Simcoe whenever you need us.
Reach out for support today: 1-866-345-0183. You deserve to feel valued and supported this holiday season.
Dr. Lyndall Schumann (Ph.D., C. Psych.) has 13 years of experience in academia, hospital, and community mental health settings. She is currently the clinical director, strategy and innovation, at the Canadian Mental Health Association, York Region South Simcoe Network Lead Organization as part of the Ontario Structured Psychotherapy program. She is passionate about creating and optimizing systems that provide faster access to better (and FREE) psychotherapy services to users across the province, especially those who experience barriers to access. She obtained her Ph.D. at Queen’s University in clinical psychology in 2017.
